Dowry System: Malady and Remedy
Abstract:
Indian
culture is known for its traditions. Some of its traditions are very good, but not all of them. Dowry
is one of them. It reduces the sacred institution of marriage to a
business transaction. It degrades a young maiden to the level of a saleable
commodity. It poses a threat not only to our society but also to our economy.
In an era, where science, technology and industry have made rapid progress and
mankind claims to be more civilized, dowry has become a part and parcel of
marriage. Although it is one of the most hated systems,
surprisingly it is growing day by day. If this evil is not
removed, all our efforts and programmes for emancipation of women will be
meaningless.
*****
India’s social life has been vitiated by a
large number of practices and traditions that are irrational and have seriously
hindered the progress of the people. The dowry system is one of them. This absurd and illogical system is prevalent
virtually in all parts of India. This is one of the chief causes of social tensions and has done
incalculable damage to our social fabric. Marriage is one
of the most sacred and holy ceremonies in our society. But the horror of the
dowry system has made this ceremony one of the feared institutions. It mars the
happiness of this occasion.
Dowry plays an important role in proposed
marriages in India. Nowadays it is a major factor when someone gets married. The
parents of the girl desperately move in search of a suitable groom for her. Based on the job position and status, dowry is demanded by
the bridegroom’s parents. The bridegroom's family proposes the amount of dowry
and if the bride's family agrees it, the marriage program is organized. The
groom's father continues to place a series of demands before the bride's
father. He strongly asserts that these demands must be fulfilled before
marriage. The demands include refrigerator, colour television, motor cycle or
car, ornaments of pure gold, money and plots of land. Bridegrooms are
purchased, to some extent, like marketable commodity. In some marriages it is demanded as donations by the parents for
the money spent on the education of their sons. The bridegroom can deny the
marriage ceremony if he does not get the decided dowry. It is the worst aspect
of this system. Its importance is not only in the wedding, but also in the
couple’s life after the marriage. If there is any family quarrel the wife used
to say ‘I didn't come with an empty hand, I came with so much of wealth to this
family.’ If the girl didn't bring much dowry, then the husband or his family
can say to her, that you came with empty hand and because of that our son is
suffering.
The
term dowry has various meaning. It is known as Dahej in Hindi. It is a gift made to cement bonds between
two families. Money, goods or estate
that a woman brings to her husband in marriage is called dowry. It is the
payment in cash or some kind of gifts given to bridegroom's family along with
the bride. Generally it includes cash, jewellery, electrical appliances,
furniture, bedding, crockery, utensils and other household items. It is an investment to assist the
newlyweds in setting up their homes. It
is a stridhan. It is a symbolic expense used to celebrate the marriage
in an appropriate manner. And it is a groom price.
The
Dowry is an ancient custom. Many societies in the earlier days of civilization had such
practices. It has a long history in Europe, South Asia and Africa. It is
a common practice in many Asian countries, including India,
Bangladesh, Pakistan, Sri Lanka and Thailand. An examination of the history of dowry system reveals that
it is neither an exceptional nor a recent social phenomenon in India but it is an
age old system and a peculiar phenomenon of the Indian society. It is deeply
ingrained in the social texture of our country. Giving away a daughter in
marriage is called 'Kanyadan'. In olden days no 'daan' was considered to be
valid unless accompanied with 'dakshina'. The dowry was supposed to be the
'dakshina' to validate the 'Kanyadan'. Kings used to give even parts of their
kingdom in dowry and common people gave a dowry consisting of articles of
household utility and some cash. In the marriage-system in ancient India, dowry
was not a demand. It was a voluntary gift of the bride's father. The bridegroom
was voluntarily presented with some useful gifts which were not demanded at all.
These gifts were given as
tokens of love and affection.
How and
why this system took birth at all? In the earlier times of Indian society, the
daughter had no share in the father's property. So, by way of dowry the girl
would get at least some portion of her share. Since a girl enjoyed no right to
the parental property, the system carried some kind of a moral. Besides this,
in those days, the girls were not educated so, this dowry could serve them as a
back up support system in case of any emergency after their marriage. However,
with the passage of time this same fine system has taken the ugly shape. Now
the whole situation has altered.
While such practices in most western societies
vanished with modernization, they became more widespread and inflationary in
India. The supporters of the dowry system give numerous arguments to
justify it. According to them, it is a fine method of setting up an
establishment for the newly weds. But a bad thing can not be justified. The
fact is that this system has become quite irrelevant. The serious form of
so-called dowry system in India had developed into a full-fledged bargaining
today. It has become a curse
particularly for those parents who are either poor or have several daughters. It has been putting great financial
burden on the daughter's family. For most
Indian parents the cost of a daughter’s marriage is the single largest expense
of their lives. Poor people have to incur heavy debts to provide their daughter with a
handsome dowry. This wrecks them financially. It is very difficult to find a
good boy for a girl without paying a high price for the same. Thus, whether a
parent can pay or not, it has become a compulsory present at the time of
marriage. It has ruined the lives of many a brilliant girls, because their
parents could not afford to give sufficient dowry to satisfy their in-laws.
Thus, we see that, a system that was at one time very wise and discreet, has
taken an ugly shape just because of the greed of men and women in today's
world.
Groom prices represent only one part of the burden at
marriage. Wedding celebrations are getting increasingly lavish and are now
almost as large as groom prices. Many authors believe that the giving and receiving of
dowry reflects the status and even the effort to climb high in social
hierarchy. Those who acquire a new and
higher social status they celebrate more lavish weddings to communicate
information to others about this new change. In brief, status signaling drives
particularly lavish wedding celebrations.
The dowry system is like a cancer which can destroy
the very fabric of our society. Instead of bringing solace, it only generates greed
and crime.
This has distorted the sex ratio and has given
rise to sex-selective abortion. The rigors of this practice have caused a continuous
and steady deterioration in the status of girls and women in our society. Nowadays the
sons
are being preferred and the daughters are
considered as an economic liability and a cause of anxiety to their
parents from birth. The devalued status accorded to daughters in the Indian
society results in the growth of an attitude of indifference towards them in
their parents. It is because of these factors that girls in our society are not
given equal opportunities of education and training, etc. In certain families
female children are regarded as unwelcome, unwanted and inferior. A family with
many female children suffers from tensions and strains. This system is the root
cause of discrimination against girl-children and violence against women. The dowry system is
also an evil since it perpetuates the myth of male superiority. If a bride is
harassed for more dowries, it may breed hatred in her mind for her husband and
ruin the married life of the couple. Many accomplished girls are rotting
unmarried only because their parents are unable to meet the heavy demand of the
bridegrooms. The girls of marriageable
age become mature enough to understand and appreciate the financial implication
of the question and they also feel the pinch of their being regarded as an
economic liability to their parents.The problem of dowry has become so acute that the
parents are encouraging their daughters to woo the young men and to marry them
by registration.
The last hundred years of women’s history in India has
been painted black with dowry related incidence of murder, female infanticide
and domestic violence. Cases of harassment of young brides and bride burning
on account of inadequate dowry have multiplied during the recent years. Hardly
is there a day when one does not read of dowry deaths in the national daily
newspapers. Brides bringing less than expected dowry are ill treated by their
in-laws and other relatives. Many of them cannot bear it any more and commit
suicide. Those who do not have enough courage to do so are burnt alive by their
husbands and the in-laws. At times even before the marriage, the girl is led to
kill herself to save her parents from the trauma of collecting money for her
marriage. Even after marriage, some brides are tortured and forced to bring
more and more dowry from their parents' house. If they fail, they are tortured
and finally killed. According to an article in Time
magazine, deaths in India related to dowry demands have increase 15-fold since
the mid-1980s from 400 a year to around 5,800 a year by the middle of the
1990s. In 1995, the National Crime Bureau of the Government of India reported
about 6,000 dowry deaths every year. A more recent police report stated that
dowry deaths had risen by 170 percent in the decade to 1997. All of these
official figures are considered to be gross understatements of the real
situation. Unofficial estimates put the number of deaths at 25,000 women a
year. Many of the victims are burnt to death. They are doused in kerosene and
set light to. Routinely the in-laws claim that what happened was simply an
accident. It is said that the bride could not adjust to new family life and
subsequently killed herself
It is not that our social reformers have not done any
thing to eradicate this evil. Social reformers like Raja Ram Mohan Roy, Ishwar
Chander Vidya Sagar, Tagore, Swami
Dayanand and Mahatma Gandhi clearly perceived the pernicious effects of the dowry
system and assiduously strove for its abolition. They tried their best to create a social consciousness against this
practice, but their efforts met with little success. Gandhiji unequivocally
expressed his views against dowry when he said ‘Any Youngman who makes dowry a
condition of marriage discredits his education and his country and dishonours
womanhood.’ The late Prime Minister, Mrs.
Indira Gandhi also tried to eradicate this evil. Nowadays several women's
organizations have come into being in order to check this evil. Even our young
boys and girls are taking oath not to follow this evil customs. State
governments have also come forward with better legislation. Now taking and
giving dowry is made a cognizable offence. Because of this evil practice, we have become an
object of ridicule in the eyes of the other nations. Unfortunately, this
practice is becoming more rampant today. Much has been done, but much
more needs to be done.
From time to time
the Government has enacted legislation to extricate the Indian Society from
this great social evil. The payment of dowry is prohibited under the 1961 Dowry Prohibition
Act. Despite anti-dowry laws in India, it is still illegally
practiced. Instead of showing signs of subsiding, the system took deeper roots.
Rich people are giving heavy dowry to their daughters. They do not feel unhappy
at such crime. This system continues in spite of all steps to check it. Many Indian women still die or suffer serious
injuries every year because of dowry-related abuse.
Dowry system finds its reflection even in the
literature. Upanyas Samrat Premchand severely criticizes
this system in his popular novel entitled Nirmala.
Nirmala is a story of a little girl who
is married at an age of 15 to a person who is 20 years elder to her after her
first marriage being cancelled due to dowry reasons. Nirmala's husband tries
all tactics to woo her but she has only respect and a sense of duty for him and
not the love which he expects to develop in her.
William Shakespeare’s
King Lear deals with this system. King Lear,
after many years of rule, wishes to retire as a ruler. He is desirous to divide
his kingdom among his three daughters. Before the division he asks each daughter
to spell out her love for him so that he may give her a part of his kingdom in
keeping with the amount and intensity of her love. The flattering expressions
of Goneril and Regan make him happy. Now he turns to his youngest and most
loved daughter, Cordelia. He expects that her expression of love will far excel
that of the two other sisters; but it appears that Cordelia has been greatly
pained by the insincere utterances of her sisters. When the king asks her as to
what she has to say in order to deserve a share richer than that of her
sisters, her first answer is ‘Nothing, my Lord’. ‘Nothing will come of
nothing’, Lear warns her. This surprises and irritates the king and he asks her
to speak again. Cordelia then says that she loves her father, ‘according to my
bond; no more no less’. That is to say, she loves her father as much as a
daughter is bound by duty. She clarifies that she cannot, like her sisters,
make a false claim that she will give all her love to her father. She continues reminding him that when she
marries she will owe half of her affection to her husband. Lear is
furious. He had expected to be
flattered; indeed that was the purpose of the game. He answers, ‘So young and
so untender?’ to Cordelia, who in turn says, ‘so young, my Lord, and true.’
‘Thy truth then, be thy dower’, her father cries. One of Cordelia's suitors
gives up his suit upon hearing that King Lear will give her no dowry. In Measure for Measure,
Claudio and Juliet's premarital sex was brought about by their families'
wrangling over dowry after the betrothal. Angelo's motive for forswearing his
betrothal with Mariana was the loss of her dowry at sea.
Shobhan Bantwal is an Indian-American author. Dowry death in India is the central
theme of her debut novel, The Dowry Bride. It tells the action-packed and emotional story of Megha;
a young woman trapped in India’s arranged marriage and dowry system. In this novel she focuses
the persecution of the bride Megha for not bringing enough dowries and her
inability to conceive. When she was unable to get the dowry, her life was
threatened. Her husband and mother in law planned to murder her.
When she overhears her husband and mother-in-law plotting to kill her, Megha
escapes and embarks on a rocky journey to save her. She
escapes and takes the help of her friend. Despite the hurdles, she
ultimately finds freedom, hope and a rare chance for happiness.
Now there is a
great demand by the people that this evil of dowry should be eradicated
completely. Total eradication of dowry system is possible only when the
mentality of the people changes. A strong public opinion should be created
against this evil. It can only be abolished with the active co-operation of the
society. Social awakening is needed to achieve such goals. In reality a strong
propaganda should be started against this evil by all responsible persons in
the society. The Government should also pass stringent laws against this social
evil.
The youth has a major responsibility in cleansing the
society of this evil. They can definitely play a key role in eradicating
this evil practice. They should take a pledge that they will neither demand a
dowry nor accept it. The young men and women should stage demonstrations
against those persons who give or take dowry. Girls should organize themselves
to such an extent that no girl will marry a man who demands a rich dowry for
her hand. They should become financially
independent. They should not feel weak or helpless. Young boys and girls should
not come under the pressure of parents. The
parents of the girls should educate their daughters properly. If the girls are
educated, they can find good husbands themselves. Moreover parents have to
understand that their daughters are strong enough to earn their own livelihood
and do not need to depend on their husbands. They should not consider their
daughters as a burden and ‘paraya dhan’ for in today’s modern India daughters
can support their parents just like their sons.
The educated people
should think and realize how unholy it is to demand a rich dowry for taking the
hand of a bride. They should know that it is immoral and sinful to demand dowry
for the sake of holy marriage. While demanding dowry they should think of their
unmarried sisters and future daughters. They should realize that dowry has
never changed the fate or financial position of any one in this world. Educational institutions should canvass against the dowry
system. Even children should be made to read stories dealing with ill-effects
of dowry. People should be told how this system has weakened our nation. It
should be installed in the minds of young men and women that to give and to
take dowry is a sin. The Central Government should enact a law by which those
young men and girls who enter into dowry-less marriages should get top priority
in all government employment. The cases of dowry-free marriages should make the
prominent news item in the news bulletin. The media should contribute to make people aware of the
negative effects of dowry. This would encourage the youth to take the
lead. A man demanding rich dowry should be debarred from holding a Government
job, as in the case of a man having more than one wife. More love marriages and
more inter-caste and inter-provincial marriages should also prove helpful.
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